Chapter 2. Give Me the Bridge Advanced Bridge Techniques
 Chapter 1, but not you my friend. You're not one of "them." You're one of us. You're edgy. An outsider. You don't follow the crowd. You're promiscuous and ambidextrous. You're synthetic yet not overly tolerant of lactose. I really have no idea what I'm saying here, yet you keep reading. You're my kind of people (meaning, you have multiple personalities). So, what is this chapter about? It's about advanced techniques for using the Adobe Bridge. A lot of people will be satisfied with just learning the basics, the essential stuff in Chapter 1. But you're not one of them, are you? You can't be constrained by normal conventions. You're a breed apart. (Here we go again.) You're elusive yet easy to find. You're a patriotic anarchist. You're loose with money. You're alluring, but with a grungy kind of neofascism that makes women want you and men want to be you (or vice versa, whatever that means). See, you could be learning techniques, important advanced techniques right now, right this very minute, but you can't turn the page. You're transfixed. You're mesmerized by the very thing that disgusts you most (and we've yet to determine what that is). But I do know this: when you do turn the page (and I have a feeling that will be very soon), you'll enter a world of garish delights that dare not speak its name (I can't believe my publisher lets me print this stuff). By the way, I kind of cheated on the chapter title "Give Me the Bridge." It's a line repeated numerous times in the song "Bustin' Loose" by Chuck Brown, and it just feels so "right" I had to use it. Forgive me. |
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