What Does Managing Emotions Look Like?
Avery: A Disabler
Enabling people to act is a core leadership function, but Avery seemed to be a master at disabling those on his team. Avery was intellectually gifted, and he knew it. His analytical skills were superb, and he could run intellectual rings around most people. He loved crossword puzzles, chess, and Scrabble, and he enjoyed taunting others who unwittingly accepted his challenge to play these games with him. His taunts and public humiliations of others came at the most unlikely times. Avery’s sense of superiority would bubble over into arrogance and spite during presentations and team meetings, although rarely when his boss was in the room. It appeared that Avery could keep himself in line on such occasions, but his real self emerged during his one-on-ones and team interactions. He wasn’t subtle, either. On one occasion, Avery angrily stood up during a presentation that one of his team members was delivering and started to yell at him about how stupid the presentation was. “This is a waste of my time!” he fumed. During an unexpected downsizing, his HR contact suggested that Avery should deal compassionately with those losing their jobs. Avery just looked at the HR person and said, “Why would I do that? They’re fired, gone. It’s done, and it doesn’t matter what I say.” “Well then,” the HR person wondered, “what about supporting the staff who survived the downsizing?” With a look of disdain, Avery replied, “They should feel lucky they even have a job.” Generally, it seemed that Avery lashed out in anger at those who were least able to defend themselves. He was, in a word, a bully. Avery’s ability to manage emotions was low—very low.
Cory: An Enabler
Now consider the product manager, Cory. Cory was charged with guiding a new product out the door and into the hands of the direct-sales force. But standing in her way was the director of the service organization, who was responsible for installing and maintaining the new product in customers’ offices. Cory spent many an hour with Will, the customer service director, trying to understand his issues, needs, and ideas. There was clearly a lot of negativity toward the new product, as there was toward anything new and different. Over a period of several months, Cory worked with Will, listening to Will’s concerns and making appropriate changes to the product schedule to meet the needs of the service staff. Finally, Will agreed to support the plan. Cory knew that Will had not fully bought into it, but for now it was the best she could do. It was therefore not a big a surprise to Cory when Will brought up the product plan during his quarterly update to the division’s president. Will indicated that service had never seen the need for the new product and was “troubled” by the product plan. Cory was angry. She had reached an agreement with Will, and he had clearly violated the agreement. Not only that, but he had done so in front of the president, knowing full well that this review session was just that—a review session and not a working meeting for discussion. The division president nodded and took a few notes, and Will was ready to go to the next agenda item when Cory stood up. Her anger guided and motivated her but did not blind her. Will had a panicked look on his face as he realized that Cory was calling his bluff. But Cory did not slam Will. Instead, she said, “Excuse me. Will and I have been working through these issues for more than two months now. We seem to resolve each issue as it arises, but there is still a fear in the service group. It’s partly a workload issue, but it’s also about having different expectations for the service engineers. I don’t think we as an organization have addressed this other issue. If we don’t, there is no way for our product to succeed. Not only that, there is no way that any of the other new products in the pipeline will make it either. It’s all the same technology and the same service issue. I’m surprised by Will’s comments, as service and marketing have come to an agreement over these issues. So, Will, perhaps you want to clarify just what it is that service has agreed to?” Cory gave Will a hard stare, and she remained standing until Will reluctantly got up to speak.
Will was still flustered, and it took him a moment to find his voice. When he did, he simply looked at the group, noting, “Yeah, that’s about it. My guys are good people, but this is different. I’m concerned about our capabilities. We’re going flat out now, and then we’re expected to also learn this new technology.” Will paused, watching as Cory prepared to get up and call his bluff again, but Will jumped in with one last statement: “And, yeah, service has agreed to support this plan. So, we’re okay to go ahead.” Then Cory stood and voiced her support as well and reminded the president that the product launch plan called for additional service training, which the board had put on hold temporarily. The president pondered all of this for a moment, and then he promised to go before the board and get that training funding fasttracked. “Does that give you the time and resources you need?” he asked, looking both at Will and Cory. To which, they simultaneously answered, “Yes!” Cory’s quick thinking represents an impressive demonstration of managing emotions successfully. Most people would have either lashed out, stalked off angrily, or slunk into the chair, wounded and hurt. Cory was not happy to be attacked this way, but she had a choice—to meet fire with fire or to manage the situation so that the product could move on. Cory’s ability to manage emotions, both her own and those of others, is very strong.