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The Advanced Course: Putting It All Together
In order to be truly effective at reading emotions in yourself and in other people, you should try to integrate all of the skills we have discussed in this chapter. Here is a guide to help you synthesize your emotion-identification competencies:Pay attention: attend to and accurately identify your emotions and moods, and look and listen to the person
Process the verbal information: Emotion words used Tone used Speed and pitch of words
Process the nonverbal information: Facial expressions Eyes and mouth Posture Gestures (interpreted in context) Words, tone, and situation, as they relate to gestures
Look for consistency or inconsistency: Match between words and tone Match between expression, words, and tone
Analyze discrepancies, but be aware of the misleading nature of discrepancies:
People laugh when grieving
People may not wish to admit feelings
Become self-aware of: Your own emotional reactions Your personal reaction Your feelings
We sometimes mimic others’ emotions
We may feel uncomfortable around certain emotional displays
Check it out: Use language such as “You seem” to confirm others’ feelings Determine your awareness of feelings Provide an offer of encouragement to open up Lastly, it often helps to check out your observations with another observer. It’s not easy, but we believe that with practice and feedback you can improve your accuracy of emotion identification. And once you have good data, you are ready for the next step.
