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Chapter 11: Do It with Smart Feelings: Improving Your Ability to Manage Emotions
Do you feel especially intelligent when you get really emotional? Or are there times when our emotionally intelligent management approach simply doesn’t work? We believe that because emotions and thinking are inextricably linked, it is impossible to avoid an emotion-based approach to decision-making and problem solving. Nonetheless, sometimes our feelings, or those of others, need to be managed, and we focus on this issue here. Remember that the emotions we feel signal us that a real issue or problem exists. Emotions direct our attention to what is important. Emotions contain information—one of our mantras throughout The Emotionally Intelligent Manager. Leveraging these data can give us the insight and direction we often need. But acting on impulse— on our gut—can lead to problems when the impulse is based on incorrect emotional data. It’s when our data are sound and solid that we must attend to and act on our gut feelings. We usually end up regretting it when we don’t, because we’re failing to take account of important information. If you tend to disparage emotions and close yourself off to them, it will take some effort to break these habits. Staying open to powerful feelings, whether negative or positive, brings critical information your way, but it can also bring sorrow and stress if not done with care. The following topics will help you do this by bringing you further along the emotion management curve in this chapter:
What Doesn’t Work and What Does
Staying Open to Emotions
Filter Out Moods, Filter In Emotions
Emotion Management Basics
Advanced Course: Managing Anger at Work
