لطفا منتظر باشید ...
Lesson: 60 Rights of Family Members and Islamic Behaviour in Marital Life
Wife and husband
are the two big pillars of the family. Both have rights with respect to one
another, which will have to account for if not maintained even though it can
be said that: the responsibility of the husband is more because his creation
is distinct and he is stronger in capacity. The Lord Almighty has also held
the husband as the guardian and the ward of the family. He says: Men are
the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others
and because they spend out of their property
The Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) has said: Man is the guardian of the family and every guardian is
responsible in the matter of those who are in his guardianship.
The man who
is the manager of the family must remember that a woman is also a human being
like a man and she also has her own wishes, ambitions, right of life and freedom.
He must understand that taking a wife does not mean taking a slave girl. Rather
it means selection of a life partner, friend and sympathiser. It is essential
to pay attention to her internal desires and ambitions too. It is not that man
becomes an absolute owner of the woman and the wife also has rights on their
husbands.
Almighty Allah
has said in the Holy Quran: and they have rights similar to those against
them in a just manner.
The Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) said: The angel Jibraeel made so many recommendations regarding the
wife that I thought that it is not permissible to divorce her except in case
of open shamelessness.
It is also
recorded from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that: The best of you is the one who
is the best for his family and I am the best among you for my family.
It is recorded
from Imam Baqir (a.s.) that once Ali and Fatima (a.s.) went to be Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) to get guidance. He says: Then he Prophet asked Fatima (a.s.) to
perform the works within the house and he asked Ali (a.s.) to do outdoor works.
Fatima (a.s.) said: Then I became so happy that none except Allah knows it.
Ishaaq bin
Ammar says: I asked Imam Sadiq (a.s.): What is the right of a wife on her husband
which if carried out the man can be a good man? The Imam (a.s.) replied: He
should feed her fully, clothe here nicely and if she makes any mistake he must
forgive her.
The Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) said: The most perfect man from the viewpoint of Faith is the one
whose morals are the best. The best among you is the one who behaves nicely
with his family.
It is also
recorded from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.): The more the Faith of a man the more
he loves his wife nicely.
Imam Sadiq
(a.s.) said: One of the morals of a Prophet is that he loves his wife nicely.
Luqman the
wise is reported to have said: A wise man must behave like a child mild child
in his house and he should spare his manly tough behaviour for outdoor jobs.
When Saad bin
Muaaz, who was one of the great companions of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and
to whom the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) used to give much respect, died Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.), like all other mourners, joined his funeral barefoot. He placed
the body of Saad in grave with his own hands and covered his face. At that time
the late Saad's mother who was observing all these last rites wherein the Holy
Prophet (s.a.w.s.) had given so much honour to her dead son, exclaimed: O Saad!
Congratulations for the paradise. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: O mother
of Saad! Do not voice such a claim, because, Saad will experience the clutch
of the grave. Thereafter companions inquired about the clutch of grave from
Saad. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied: It was because Saad used to behave
badly with his relatives.
In conclusion,
if someone lives the life correctly and pays attention to the rights of others
and of his relatives and gives respect to his family members, he will live a
good and safe life and it will rightly be said that the family environment is
indeed a sweet and restful place. But if Divine limits have been crossed and
human rights have been trampled under feet, that is a life which is troublesome,
tiring and sorrowful and it can be called a hell on earth.
Grave responsibility
of women
Ladies must
understand that taking good care of husband is not an easy job, which every
woman can fulfil nicely. Rather it requires special knowledge of working, taste
and discipline. A woman who desires to take care of husband must earn his pleasure.
She should have good morals and nice attitude. She should try to make him a
kind, lovable and respectful husband so that he may prove to be the best guardian
for his family, the best father for his children and a kind tutor. Almighty
Allah has given extraordinary power to a woman. The welfare and happiness of
the family is in her hands.
The woman can
make her house a heaven on earth. She can also turn it into a hellfire. Similarly
she can help her husband reach the heights of progress. She can also make his
future dark.
The issue of
taking care of husband is so precious and important that it has been considered
a Jihad Holy war of the woman. Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said: The jihad of a woman
is taking nice care of her husband.
It is also
recorded from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that: The best women among you are
those who have love and affection.
We should also
remember that it is not enough to have love and affection only in the heart.
It should be visible so that family life remains warm. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.)
said: When anyone of you loves your brother or associate or friends make it
know to him.
Imam Sadiq
(a.s.) has said: Very far from the mercy of God is a woman who troubles her
husband and makes him sorrowful. Every lady who respects her husband and does
not give trouble to him and obeys him is fortunate and successful.
Imam Sadiq
(a.s.) also said: Every woman who goes to bed when her husband is displeased
with her that is she has not respected his right, her prayer remains unaccepted
until she pleases him.
In the end,
both the wife and the husband should know that if there behaviour is not correct
and Islamic, usually, their children become corrupt and mischievous. In a way,
those fellows who are doing bad deeds in society are those who were brought
up in an atmosphere of a quarrelsome family life.
How may are
the boys and girls who became helpless and whose family life is very disturbed
and who have turned their world into a hell
At the end
of this discussion let all of us try our best to observe our Islamic and human
rights.
