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ALI-011 - Session 11.1
Agenda
1. Recitation
from the Holy Qur'n yt 42:49-50 with brief
explanation
2. Verses and a story from the Qur'n on
motherhood
3. A few Hadths on the status and rights
of a mother
4. Extracts from Imam Khomeini's speeches
to mothers
5. Motherhood and human
fitrat
6. Responsibilities of a mother
7.
Reward of fulfilling motherly duties
I - From the Holy Qur'n
1. Children are a
gift from Allah
Allah's is the Kingdom of
the heavens and the earth; He creates what He pleases.
He grants to whom He pleases daughters and grants to
whom He pleases sons. Or He makes them of both sorts,
male and female; and He makes whom He pleases barren;
surely He is the knowing, the Powerful. (42:49-50)
2. Right of the Mother
And We have enjoined man in respect of his
parents - his mother bears him with weakness upon
hardships and weakness upon hardships, and his weaning
takes two years - saying: "Be grateful to Me and to both
your parents, to Me is the eternal
coming. (31:14)
And We
have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with
troubles did his mother bear him and with troubles did
she bring him forth; and the bearing and the weaning of
him was thirty months. (46:15)
3. The
story of the Mother of Nab Musa (a)
And
we revealed to the mother of Musa saying: Suckle him,
then when you fear for him, cast him into the river, do
not fear nor grieve, for We will return him to you and
make him one of the apostles. And Pharoah's people took
him up, that he might be an enemy to them and a (cause
of) grief; surely Pharoah and Haman and their hosts were
sinners. And said Pharoah's wife: (Here is) a joy of the
eye for me and you. Slay him not; maybe he will be
useful to us or we will adopt him as a son; but they did
not perceive. And
the heart of the mother of Musa became empty; she was
about to disclose it had We not strengthened her heart
so that she might be of the believers.
(28:7-10)
II - From Hadth
1. It
is the right of your mother that you should appreciate
that she carried you [in her womb] the way nobody
carries anybody, she fed you the fruits of her heart
which nobody feeds anybody. She protected you [during
pregnancy] with her ears, eyes, hands, legs, hair,
limbs, [in short] with her whole being, gladly,
cheerfully, and carefully; suffering patiently all the
worries, pains, difficulties, and sorrows. Till the hand
of God removed you from her and brought you into this
world. Then she was most happy, feeding you forgetting
her own hunger, clothing you even if she herself had no
clothes, giving you milk and water not caring for her
own thirst, keeping you in the shade, even if she had to
suffer from the heat of the sun, giving you every
comfort with her own hardships; lulling you to sleep
while keeping herself awake.
Imam Zaynul Abidin
(a) in Risalatul Huqooq " The Chapter of Rights.
2. Fortunate is the person whose mother is
chaste and virtuous.
Imam Jafar as-Sdiq (a)
3. Heaven lies under the feet of the mother. -
Holy Prophet (s)
III - Imam Khomeini's advice to mothers
You
respected women are busy training healthy children. You
are responsible for training virtuous children and then
offering them to society. We are all responsible for
developing chaste Muslim children, but they are better
raised in your laps. Your laps are the best schools of
training. You have a responsibility to your country for
you can train children who will then cultivate a
country. You can train children who will protect and
support the aspirations and desires of the Prophets. -
May 26, 1979 - extracted from Mahjubah Vol. 1
nos.11&12
The job of training children is
the highest of all the professions. A good child, if you
transfer it to society, is better for you than
possessing all of the universe. The first stage in the
training of a child is in its mother's lap. There is no
love higher than the love between a mother and a child.
- June 11, 1979 - extracted from Mahjubah Vol. 1
nos.11&12
It is the role of the Prophets to
make human beings out of individuals who do not differ
from animals, and to purify them. This was the
profession of the Prophets. The role of the mothers
should be this too, to purify the children who are
raised in their laps. . . That which a child
hears from its mother during early training is imprinted
upon the heart of the child and remains with the child
forever. Mothers must turn their attention to the fact
that they bring up their children well. This is a very
important issue that mothers are capable of fulfilling,
they are actually structured by nature to meet. No one
else is so built. A child does not learn as much from
its father as it does from its mother. . . . A mother
may raise a child well and that child may become a
leader of the Ummah and save it. Or a mother may raise a
child badly and that child is later responsible for the
destruction of the Ummah. - Mahjubah Vol. 2, nos. 8
& 9
III - Motherhood and Fitrat
Almighty
Allah has created human beings according to a particular
fitrat. This means He has placed inside them internal
urges and desires that are natural and not learned from
outside sources. When man fulfills these instincts, he
is able to achieve happiness and satisfaction. The
religion of Islam guides its followers in expressing and
fulfilling these natural instincts appropriately. Those
who ignore and suppress their natural instincts, or do
not fulfill them in a balanced manner, often lead
dissatisfied and unhappy lives. Almighty Allah says in
the Holy Qur'an: Then set your face upright for
religion in the right state, the nature made by Allah in
which He has made men, there is no altering of Allah's
creation . . . (30:30)
One of these natural
instincts is the love of children. Human beings have a
natural urge to have children of their own. The intense
affection and protectiveness they feel towards children
allows them to sacrifice for their children, and meet
their needs without considering it a great burden.
Without this natural desire, not many people would be
willing to raise children and undergo all the hard work
and difficulties associated with raising children.
Children are a source of pleasure for the parents.
According to the Holy Qur'an, believers pray for that
pleasure, and say: O our Lord! Grant us in our
spouses and our children the joy of our eyes . . .
(25:74)
The fitrat of a woman gives her a
maternal instinct which is in full bloom when her child
is born. But it can also be seen when she handles babies
and children other than her own. This instinct brings
with it gentleness and love for the helpless child. It
is expressed in a tender voice, in the desire to touch
and hold close, to smile and talk to a baby even when it
does not understand. The baby also instinctively
responds to such gestures of affection.
These
natural inclinations prevent a mother from oppressing
and harming her child. The helplessness and dependence
of the child brings out strong maternal feelings. This
is the wisdom of the Creator, who created this
dependence on the mother in order to strengthen the bond
between mother and child. Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a) says
in Hadithe Mufazzal:
If the infant had been
born with mature intellect, with an understanding of his
functions, there would have been few occasions for the
sweetness felt in the nature of the offspring, and the
demands under which the parents find a full time
pre-occupation with the affairs of the young ones would
not have risen. Love and affection, felt for children,
following the inconveniences undergone for their sake,
would not subsist between parents and children.
IV - Responsibilities of Motherhood
When the
Almighty grants a woman a child, it is a trust that He
has placed with her. Along with it come responsibilities
and duties that cannot be shirked. Those who fulfill the
responsibilities of this trust well, succeed in obeying
and pleasing the Almighty. There is great reward for
them, both in this world and in the Hereafter.
The responsibility of motherhood does not lie in
just fulfilling the physical needs of the child, or
supplying the child with material goods. If a child is
not raised properly and given the right training,
material possessions will be of no use. When a mother
teaches her child how to live a life of dignity and
purity, this child is prepared for a lifetime of
balanced happiness and honor in this world. This is an
internal wealth which every mother can pass on to her
child.
A mother should put in effort to raise
her child in the best manner possible. She knows her
child best, and can handle the child in the most
appropriate manner. Children differ greatly, and there
can be no set training rules for all children. The
individualized and personalized training which a mother
can provide cannot be matched by other care-givers.
According to Aghae Falsafi, a mother can do the
following for her children which no-one else can:
1. Recognize and become familiar with the
inclinations and nature of her child. She can then
handle him accordingly, and cater for his personal
needs.
2. Pay attention to the particular
talents that her child may have. Every child has unique
abilities and potentials that are often overlooked in a
larger setting such a day care or school. The mother
must try to recognize these unique abilities and help
her child develop them.
3. If her child has
negative characteristics, a mother should take note of
that and try to improve them. Whenever possible she
should try to help her child understand what is good and
virtuous, and point out the harms of the negative
behavior.
According to hadith two most important
responsibilities of a parent are teaching the child
faith and Akhlaq. The following hadith emphasize these
two aspects of training:
The right of your child is that you should know
that he is from you and will be ascribed to you,
through both his good and his evil, in the immediate
affairs of this world. You are responsible for what
has been entrusted to you, such as educating him in
good conduct, pointing him in the direction of his
Lord, and helping him to obey Him. So act toward him
with the action of one who knows that he will be
rewarded for doing good toward him and punished for
evildoing. - Imam Zaynul Abidin (a) in Risalatul
Huqooq - The Chapter of Right
2. A
parent does not grant a child a better gift than good
manners. Imam Ali (a)
3. There is no better
inheritance than good manners. Imam Ali (a)
V - Reward of fulfilling Motherly duties
There
is great reward for the mother who fulfills her duties
in raising her children in the right manner. Islam
recognizes the greatness of mothers, and has allotted
rewards for them both in this world and in the
hereafter.
Respect in this world.
A
mother commands great respect from her family. She is to
be obeyed, and venerated. The Qur'nic verses which talk
about the rights of parents specifically mention the
mother. The Holy Prophet (s) has enjoined goodness to
the mother even before the father. A man once came for
advice to him, as to who he should be good to. The
Prophet (s) advised him to do good to his mother. Three
times the man asked, and three times the Prophet (s)
told him to do good to his mother. At the fourth time,
the Prophet (s) told him to do good to his father. This
well-known story clearly illustrates the position of the
mother in Islam.
A mother has been freed for the
noble task of raising children. It is not necessary for
her to earn livelihood for the family. She has also been
excused from many religious obligations such as Jihd,
Jamat salt etc. for her to be able to spend time with
her children.
Respect in the Hereafter.
The famous hadith of the Holy Prophet (s) says:
Jannat lies under the feet of the mothers. A
woman came to the Holy Prophet (s) and asked why going
for Jihad was not obligatory on women. She was afraid
that women were barred from achieving the great reward
for those who fought and died in the way of the
Almighty. The Prophet (s) explained to her that a woman
was a fighter in Allah's way from the time she became
pregnant until the time she delivered, and from the time
she began breast-feeding until the time she stopped. If
she died during that period, her position would be that
of a martyr.
To raise a virtuous child is one of
the greatest good deeds of a woman. It continues to
bring reward even after death. Her efforts are
transferred to the next generation as her children raise
children of their own. Thus the effects of her training
and upbringing last long after her death.
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