Children are the trust from Allah given to parents so that they may be nicely trained and made well versed in Islamic matters. In this connection the Holy Quran says: O you who believe! save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones.
Fathers and mothers have the obligation of training their children on right lines. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has said: Honour your offspring and nourish them with good manners and desirable virtues.
Right training is one of the factors for making the youth wholesome and intelligent. Those who have been nourished correctly in their childhood and who have benefited from essential guidance know the art of living nicely. They are able to derive benefits from their early training during their middle and old age. They can present themselves in a desirable and deserving way before their families and in their societies, living comfortably and happily.
On the contrary, those who were not nourished and trained nicely in their childhood and who cultivated undesirable habits and manners are unable to find the correct way of living during their youth and old age. They cannot live in a fitting way in society due to their immorality. Mostly they fail in their social life because, unknowingly they put into practice the bad habits of their childhood thus putting both themselves and the society to trouble and disrespect.
We must know that a child and youth is ever ready to imbibe every kind of teaching and training. If their fathers and mothers and guardians so desire they can turn a child into a model human being and they entrust it to the society.
Amirul Momineen (a.s.) has, in his letter to Hasan al-Mujtaba (a.s.) said: The heart of a growing child I like a land without any grass or vegetation. It accepts whatever seed is thrown in it and then nourishes it is itself. Then added: My dear son! Before your heart could get hard in your youth in the beginning of your youth I had undertaken your training and disciplining.
Traditions
1. Someone asked the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.): What is the right of this son of mine upon me? The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied: Select a good name for him, discipline him and give a nice place to him to live.
2. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) said: Father has three duties concerning his son: selection of a good name for him, to teach him the Holy Quran and when he grows up to arrange his marriage.
3. It is reported that the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has said: The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) saw a man with his two sons of young age. That man kissed one of them but not the another one. the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) criticised this unfair treatment and said: Why did you not treat your two children in a same manner?
4. Amirul Momineen (a.s.) is recorded to have said: Teach your children our knowledge which Allah has made beneficial for them so that deviated groups may not misguide them.
5. Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said: Make your child free for seven years for playing. Then give him knowledge teach him for the next seven years also and also keep him with you. If he improves so good otherwise there is not good in it.
6. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has said: Teach horse riding and also shooting to your children.
7. It is reported from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.): One the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) saw some children and said: Woe unto the children of the last age at the hands of their own fathers. The companions asked: O Prophet of God! At the hands of their polytheist fathers? The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) replied: No, but at the hands of their believing fathers who do not give them essential religious knowledge. If they children learn they fathers prevent them from so doing as they are pleased with their little material worldly benefits. I am at a distance from them and they are at a distance from me.
8. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) has said: It is for the father and mother not to curse and disinherit their children but to observe their rights. Similarly it is the duty of the children not to be cursed and get disinherited by their parents but to observe their rights that is, they also will have to answer if they do not do their duty.
At the end we should know that four things are effective in the destiny of man: Viraasat (heritage), Talqueen (suggestion), Taqleed (following) and Taaseer-e-Muheet (effect of environment).
It is the duty of the parents to bear in mind the aforesaid four things concerning their children so that they may not be corrupted under the influence of undesirable suggestions, wring following and corrupt atmosphere. It is our duty to clean the environment if it has corrupted. We should not say that we cannot train our children.
Warning to parents
In case, despite full efforts to train them the children do not follow, they should be left alone and should not be helped in any way. Rather the father-son relation should be disconnected. Allah says to Prophet Nuh (a.s.): O Nuh! surely he is not of your family; surely he is the doer of other than good deeds, therefore ask not of Me that of which you have no knowledge; surely I admonish you lest you may be of the ignorant.
It is reported from Imam Moosa Reza (a.s.) that: once he asked his friends: how do the people explain the verse: Surely he is the doer of other than god deeds? One from the audience replied: Some believe that it means the son of Nuh, Kinaan was not his real son. The Imam said: No, it is not so. He was Nuhs real son. But when he sinned and deviated from the correct Path of Allah, God negated his son-father relationship. It is just as if someone among us does not obey Allah we say he is not from us.
Material worldly relationships connections based on family, friendship etc. are always, in the Divine Heavenly religions, overshadowed by spiritual relationship. In these schools heavenly religions, closeness of blood relations has no meaning compared to the spiritual relation. Salman Farsi from a distant country Iran was neither from the family blood of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) and was not either from the tribe of Quraysh nor even he belonged to Mecca. Originally he was not even an Arab. Yet as per a tradition: Salman is from our family, Salman is regarded as a member of the Holy Prophets (s.a.w.s.) Holy family. But the closest blood related son of the Prophet like Nuh (a.s.), as a result of tearing himself from his fathers line of school religion is being discarded so thoroughly that he faced the verse: Surely he is not of your family.
Also the Surah Lahab was revealed concerning the uncle of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.). The Imams (a.s.) have given a similar warning to their followers. Imam Baqir (a.s.) addressed Jabir: O Jabir! Remember that you will not be our friend unless when the whole city gathers around you to tell you that you are a bad man yet you do not feel unhappy and, similarly, if the whole population of the city tells you that you are a good man and yet it does not make you happy, rather you look only at the Book of Allah and adopt the criteria of good and bad from it and then see to which group you belong.
Also Imam Baqir (a.s.) addressed his friends thus: O Shias of the family of the Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.s.) ! Remember that there is no family relation between us and God and that we have no argument before Allah. Nearness to Allah must be obtained by nothing but by obeying the Divine commandments. Our friendship will benefit only those who obey Allah. Our friendship will not benefit the one who disobeys Allah.
These traditions negate the thinking of those who rest contented merely on name and have no concern for action according to religion. These narrations prove that in the school of thought of the Holy Imams Faith is fundamental is and deeds according to it. All things must be weighted in this balance.