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Chapter 16
Family
Family
Certain animals such as ants, bees, termites and several
species of monkeys are social, that is they live in communities. The social
life of some of these gregarious animals is characterized by some very significant
and interesting systems.
Man is also a social and gragarious animal that has the most
varied and the most interesting social life that we know.
Society and its kinds
Social life usually originates from a set of natural or
acquired ties which join together a number of individuals and turn them into a
coherent community. This coherent community is called a society.
There are many kinds of society and from different angles it
can be divided into various classes.
Some of these classes are limited and small, like family,
and some of them are big and vast, such as tribe, clan; community, nation etc.
Family
The simplest, the smallest and the oldest form of human
society is family which is comprised by wife, husband and children. A number of
bonds and ties join the members of a family to each other.
Tribe
When the children of a family are grown up, they normally
marry and produce children. Thus gradually from one family several coherent and
inter‑connected families are formed. They trace their descent back to a
common ancestor and form a bigger social unity called tribe'.
Clan
In certain parts of the world we come across another kind of
relationship between the ‑individuals and the families. It originates
from a mythical tie and these families, instead of tracing back their genealogy
to a common human ancestor, attribute their descent to an animal, plant or
something else of that sort and consider themselves attached to it in a
mysterious way. This fictitious ancestor is called totem' and the people attached
to the same totem are known as a clan.
Nation
In more advanced societies we come across a bigger social
unity called nation. A nation consists of a large number of individuals,
families and tribes united by a common race, country, language and culture.
Other social
groupings
There are various other kinds of social ties from which
social groupings have originated, such as those of sex, class, religion and
ideology.
Dogmatic and
ideological society
One of the most progressive social ties is that of doctrine
and dogma. The people who believe in one religion or one ideology are united by
it and form one community, that is a society having a common goal and a common
policy. An ideological tie may be so powerful and effective that it may
overshadow all other ties. We will further elucidate this point later.
Out of all the social ties which we have mentioned Islam
gives basic importance to two, namely the ideological and dogmatic tie and the
family tie. We propose to discuss first the family tie.
Marriage
Nature has so arranged that man and woman are attracted
towards each other. This natural attraction binds them together and leads them
to live a common life and form a family. This natural tendency or the instinct
of sex, like any other instinct, should be guided to the right direction so
that it may be utilized in the service of humanity.
Though common life of husband and wife originates from sex
instinct, yet gradually it develops into a sort of deep spiritual and
sentimental and social and economic relationship. That is what we call
conjugal union or matrimony.
In the wake of keen desire to establish conjugal relations
between themselves, man and woman enter into a contract known as marriage or
matrimonial contract.
This contract has great importance in human life, for it
unites the existence of two persons in many ways. It lays the foundation of the
life of a human infant, and deeply influences his body, life, thought and
future actions. That is why a marriage contract is regarded as sacred by
various nations and enough attention has been paid in different legal systems
to the questions connected with it.
Importance of
marriage from Islamic point of view
Islam has also attached great importance to the question of
marriage in its social system. In the holy Qur'an and the sayings of the holy
Prophet and the Imams we find that marriage has been greatly encouraged. The
holy Prophet has been reported to have said: "No institution of Islam is
liked by Allah more than that of marriage".
Basic object of
marriage
The basic object of marriage in Islam consists of:
(a) Securing comfortable atmosphere for husband and wife
(b) Producing a new generation and bringing up healthy,
faithful and virtuous children.
With regard to the first object the Qur'an says:
"One of His signs
is that He created for you spouses of
your own species, so that you might
find comfort with them, and He put mutual love and affection in your hearts.
Surely in this there are lessons for the thinking people. " (Surah al‑Rum,
30:21).
A Muslim husband and wife who follow the Qur'an should
always be a source of comfort to each other. Their mutual relations should be
far above mere sexual enjoyment and should reach the stage of cordial
friendship accompanied by mutual benevolence and fellow‑feeling.
(Ayatullah Ali Mishkini's "Marriage in Islam" published by
ISP).
On the basis of this verse the object of marriage should be
the same as that of the creation of mates, that is husbands and wives. From the
Islamic point of view marriage is not merely an instrument for legalizing
sexual relations, but .it is an agreement which unites the very existence of
the husband and wife and gives a new colour and a new rhythm to their life. It
brings them out of real solitariness, turns them into a couple instead of
single individuals and makes them complementary to each other.
With regard to the second object the Qur'an says:
"He is the
Creator of the heavens and the earth. He has given you partners from among
yourselves, and (similarly made) the cattle (also) males and females. That
is bow He multiplies you. Nothing can be compared to Him. He is the All‑bearing,
the All‑seeing". (Surah al‑Shura, 42:11).
The Islamic traditions regarding the choosing of wife stress
one point viz. the proposed wife should be capable of producing children and
should not be sterile. According to a well‑known hadith of his, the holy
Prophet said: "Marry each other and produce new off‑spring so that
your number may increase".
Selection of a spouse one of the most critical questions
connected with marriage and formation of a family is that of choosing the
spouse. In this connection attention should be paid to the following points:
Freedom in the selection of wife or husband.
Equality between husband and wife, viz. each of them
should be generally suitable to marry the other.
The criteria which should be kept in view to deter mine
such suitability.
Persons between whom marriage is forbidden.
Seeking the hand of the spouse in marriage.
Freedom in choosing
husband or wife:
Freedom in choosing husband/wife is a principle to which
Islam has paid much attention, for satisfactory conjugal life depends on
intellectual, spiritual and moral compatibility between the two spouses. This
compatibility can exist only if both the parties are free in their choice and
choose each other of their own free will after careful study and without any
coercion. Otherwise their conjugal life cannot be expected to be smooth and
satisfactory.
According to the Islamic canon law the first condition of
the validity of a marriage contract is that it should be proposed by the woman
and accepted by the man and both of them should act freely in the matter.
The Imams on various occasions, especially when they were
consulted about the selection of a wife or a husband, emphatically stressed
that the main condition of the validity of a marriage is the free consent of
both the parties. No imposition is allowed in this respect.
A young man complained to Imam al Sadiq (P) that his parents
were compelling him to marry a girl whom he did not like, whereas he was
interested in another girl. He then asked the Imam what he was required to do
in that case.
The Imam said: "Marry the girl you like".
In this connection it may be remembered that the parents
must not compel their children to marry against their will.
Consent of father to
the marriage of a girl
The teachings of Islam recommend that the daughters should
marry with the consent of their fathers. Many of the Muslim jurists consider
this consent to be an essential condition of the marriage of the girls. In this
connection the following points may be noted:
