لطفا منتظر باشید ...
Jami' as-Sa'adat v.2, p. 28
When people trust each other, it increases their love towards each other and brings harmony into their lives. The Muslims' Imams expressed the importance of trust in many ways. Imam Ali (A.S.) once said:
"He who trusts others gains love from them."
Ghurar al-Hikam.,
Dr. Mardin is quoted as saying:
"When you establish a friendship with someone, try to observe only his positive points: then try to appreciate in your consciences those good traits von have found in him. If you are able to center this advise in your mind, on will live a good and satisfactory life, and will discover that everyone presents his good and kind sides to you while trying to win your friendship for himself."
Pirozi Fikr (Persian,)
It is even possible that optimism and trust affect the thinking and conduct of the misguided ones. In summary, they (trust and optimism) provide grounds for the salvation of such people.
Imam Ali (A.S.) once said:
"Trust rescues him who indulged in sin."
Dr. Dale Carnegie states:
"Recently I met the manager of a franchise of restaurants. This particular chain of restaurant is called "The Honorable Deal". In these restaurants, which were established in 1885, the employees never presented a bill to the customers; instead the customers order what they wish to eat and after the meal they calculate the charges and pay the cashier without any questions. "I said to the manager: Of course you have a secret inspector?! You can't trust all the customers of your restaurant?' He answered: No, we do not secretly watch our customers, yet, we do know that our method is appropriate, otherwise we would not have been able to advance during this last half century.' The customers of this restaurant feel that they are dealt with honorably, it stems from the idea that the poor, rich, thief, and beggar all try to conform to the good conduct which is expected of them here."
Mr. Louis, a social psychologist, has said:
"If you interact with an unstable, ill-natured man and are trying to lead him to goodness and stability, try to make him feel that you trust him, treat him like a respected and honorable man. You will find that he tries to keep the trust that you have placed in him. Consequently, in order for him to prove that he is worth your trust, he will try to do what makes him qualified for your trust."
How to Win Friends
Dr. Gilbert Roben wrote:
"Trust children. What I mean is deal with them as if they have never made a mistake. In other words erase their past and forgive their wrong conduct. Try to assign important duties to those who do not behave well. With every new job that you give them make it appear as if they have improved their behavior, and that they have become qualified for the job you have given them. It is possible to remove the obstacles which stand in the way of correction by good conduct and trusting the ones to be corrected. From here we can say that most of the unwanted aare not but reactions to fill space in the lives of the individuals."
Sir Yal Bint used to suggest to trust children who have a habit of stealing with some money, and give them jobs which conform to the ability of those who are lazy.
Trust guarantees comfort to the person.
Imam Ali (A.S.) said:
"Trust is a comfort to the heart and security in faith."
Ghurar a/-Hikam p. 376
Trust also releases the pressure created by the miseries and misfortunes of life.
Imam Ali (A.S) stated:
"Trust reduces depression."
Dr. Mardin said:
"There is not a thing that makes life more beautiful in our eyes, reduces our sufferings, and paves the way for success like optimism and trust do. Therefore, be careful of painful thoughts just as you are cautious of illnesses and their dangerous effects. Open your minds to optimistic thinking and you will see how easily you can rescue yourself from existing thoughts."
Pirozi Fikr
It is essential for Muslims to behave with each other in such a way that does not leave room for ill expectations to penetrate their society. Imam Ali (A.S.), on this subjects, used to advise the Muslims to think positively about each other and not to act in a manner that would make others mistrust them. He (A.S.) also recommended that people should avoid places of suspicion. He is quoted as saying:
"He who holds hope in you has given you his trust, therefore do not disappoint him.
Ghurar al-H ikam p. 680
Imam Ali (A.S.) made the judging point for man's reason his thinking about others when he said:
"Man's expectation is the scale for his reason, and his conduct is the most truthful witness to his authenticity."
Ghurar al- Hikam p. 474
Because an individual whose expectations of people is negative lacks the ability to reason logically, Imam Ali (A.S.) made the Muslim's refusal of ill-thinking a sign of their spiritual power. He also said:
"One who refuses ill expectations of his brother, has healthy reason and his heart is at peace."
Ghurar aI-Hikam p. 676
Samuel Smiles said:
"It has been proven that those who have strong natures and spirits, are naturally happy and hopeful in life. They look at everyone and everything with trust and ease. Wise men see beyond every cloud a shining sun, and realize that behind every misery and infliction, exists the happiness they long for. These people find new power every time they are inflicted with a new problem; and find hope with every depression or sadness. Such nature enjoys real happiness, and its advocates are lucky. The light of gladness shines in their eyes and they can always be seen smiling. The hearts of these individuals sparkle like stars and they see everything with an understanding eye and with the color they wish."
Imam Sadiq (A.S.) considered good expectation to be one of the Muslim's rights on each other.
"Among the rights of a believer to another believer.., is not to doubt him."
Usul al-Kafi V 1. p. 394
Truly the element most capable of giving man optimism and trust is faith. Had all people been one nation who believed in Allah, His Messenger, and the Last Day, it would have been natural for everyone to truly trust each other. The lack of faith among people is the reason for the acute disease of mistrust in society. A believer, whose heart is comfortable with belief and trust in Allah, depends on that unlimited power whenever he is inflicted with weakness. He seeks refuge in Allah during hardships: this trains his souls and deeply affects his morals.
3
PESSIMISM
The bright and Dark Points Of LifeThe Negative Effects Of PessimismIslam Verses Pessimism.
The Bright and Dark Points of Life
Man's life is a mixture of pain and comfort. Each one of these two states absorbs a portion of life in this world. Every individual faces his own share of experiences and becomes a victim of pain and comfort from the problems and disasters of life. It is according to this bitter fact that man's life fluctuates between pain and ease.
We, as humans, cannot change this eternal law which rules our lives so as to subject it to our own desires. Yet, after we come to realize the deep meaning of this life, we can direct our vision towards the beautiful side of existence and cast away the ugly entities which tarnish the fact of life in this vast universe; this universe that is filled with the amazement of creation and precision of wisdom; which it tells us that every creature exists with an aim for which has been created. On the other hand, we can ignore or forget the bright points in the universe and concentrate on the gloomy spots. Finally it is up to every individual to choose the direction of his thinking. Hence, choosing the color and view of life he wishes to experience.
It is incumbent on us to prepare ourselves to face and choose that which is appropriate for us in order to avoid disadvantageous factors, so that we do not loose the ability of self-control. Otherwise, we may face irreplaceable loses, or even fall victim to the typhoons of misfortune.
Many of us imagine that had the sequence of events in our lives been different, we might have been happy people. In fact, these people's problems are not related to the events of their lives, but to the methods in which they deal with them. It is possible for us to change the influence of such events, or even transform some of their effects into useful ones.
A famous thinker wrote:
~Our thoughts always operate in the domain of hate and dissatisfaction, so we always complain and cry. The reason behind this crying is in our consciences. We are built in such a manner that our existence feeds on that which is not appropriate for our souls or spirits. Every day we wish and hope for new things, or perhaps we do not really know what we want. Yet, we believe that others have acquired happiness so we envy them while we suffer. We are like misbehaving children who invent new excuses and start weeping. Our souls suffer from their weeping and we do not relax until we make them understand the facts and abandon what they falsely imagine and their unruly wants.
These children, as a result of their numerous desires, become blind to everything but miseries. It is our obligation to open their eyes towards the good side of life. We must make them understand that none but those who open their eyes to the garden of life, can cultivate its flowers and roses. Those blind ones will obtain nothing but thorns. If we are able to pass the borders of depression and pessimism and examine the facts, we find that even in these times, which have fallen in a deep horrifying pit, there are exits everywhere with roses and flowers in the garden of life that call the sights of onlookers to themselves at all times.
Thought has a deep affect on man's happiness. In fact, the only effective factor on man's happiness is his ability to think and reason. An unprecedented incident is unbearable and destructive in the eyes of the pessimist, while in the viewpoint of the optimist, who sees things in a positive way, such incidents do not lead to submission nor do they cause a person to lose his sense of resistance under any condition. Optimists never abandon the borders of modesty, restraint and patience.
Those who condition themselves to think that the axis of evil surrounds them will only live a painful, gloomy and uncomfortable life. They will, in effect, loose many of their powers and abilities as a result of their exaggerated sensitivity and drown themselves in fatal ignorance of the blessings and good things of the world.
According to one scholar:
"The world reacts to man exactly as man deals with the world. Thus, if you laugh at the world, it will laugh with you. If you look at the world gloomily, it will appear gloomy. If you meditate on the world, it will count you among the mediators, and if you are merciful and truthful, you will find people around you who will love you and open the treasures of love and respect of their hearts to you."
Despite the bitter appearance of pain, it produces special fruit for the mind and soul. Man's spiritual abilities become more clearly manifested in the darkness of pain. Reason and human spirit evolve in the folds of continuousacrifices and unsubmissive struggleto the peak of human perfection.
The Negative Effects of Pessimism
Pessimism is a dangerous spiritual illness. It is the cause of many losses, defects and disappointments. Pessimism is a painful misfortune that tortures the human soul and leaves unamendable defects on man's personality which cannot be erased.
When experiencing pain and/or inflictions people tend to become sensitive, at this point it is possible for pessimism to appear as a result of a strong revolt in the emotions and feelings of an individual. Pessimism which enters the mind in this way leaves its influence on man's thinking process.
The beauty of creation is not manifested in the eyes of one whose spiritual mirror has become darkened by the shadow of pessimism. Moreover, even happiness appears to him in the garment of boredom and disaster, and his ill thinking cannot comprehend conduct of innocent individuals clear of evil aims. Those whose thought become so negative will lose all of their advantageous abilities, because with their incorrect imagination they create many problems for themselves; hence, wasting their talents by worrying about incidents which they have not and probably will be not faced with. As we have said before, the effects of optimism spread to its surroundings and enliven the spirit with hope; likewise, pessimism dictates anxiety and pain to its surroundings, and eventually deprives them of the light of hope, which clears the path of life for mankind.
The disadvantageous effects of pessimism are not limited to the soul only,they adversely affect the body too. Studies show that pessimistic patients have a lower rate of cure. According to a medical doctor:
It is more difficult to treat those who are suspicious of everything and everyone, than to rescue a person who jumps in the sea attempting to commit suicide. Giving medicine to an individual who lives in constant anxiety is like placing water into boiling oil. In order for any medicine to he helpful it is essential for the patient to preserve his sense of comfort and belief."
Those who suffer from pessimism clearly experience a sense of loneliness and suspicion when dealing with others. As a result of such unsatisfactory situations these people destroy their abilities to develop and advance; hence, destining themselves to an unwanted life. In light of these facts, pessimism is found to be a main factor in suicide.
If we examine any sector of' human society, we will find that backbiting and gossip stem from suspicion that is paired with a lack of examination and reflection. Despite their weaknesses in judging and their vast imaginations, people often judge others without verifying the subject matter involved. These people imagine without confirming their suspicion, in some circumstances their personal aims can easily be depicted. This great shortcoming causes the ties of unity and sincere relationships to break and deprives people of trust in each other, which leads to the corruption of manners and souls as well.
Most incidents of enmity, hate and envy which are harmful to both the individual and society, result from suspicion which contradicts reality. Suspicion spreads in the society to point that it may even occupy the minds of philosophers and scholars. We can pinpoint many instances in history when scholars have committed grave mistakes by viewing their societies from the pessimistic angle; thus building their ideas on the basis of criticism and search for the shortcomings in the social system. So instead of serving the causes of happiness, these confused scholar poison the spirit of their societies with their harmful thinking. They also subject the fundamentals of belief to criticism and disgust.
Abu al-'Ala al-Mauri was among the pessimistic scholars. This famous philosopher thought so negatively of life that he called for the prevention of intecourse in order to wipe out mankind; consequently riding itself of the sufferings of life.
Islam Verses On Pessimism
The Holy Quran clearly counts pessimism and ill thinking among the sins and evil deeds and warns
Muslims about thinking negatively of each other.
"O you who believe! Avoid most suspicion, for surely suspicion in some cases is a sin."
Quran 49:12
The Islamic religion prohibits suspicion if decisive evidence doesn't exist. The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) said:
"A Muslim is sacred to another Muslim: his blood, his property and (it is prohibited) for one to think negatively of another."
Tirmidhi. Clip. 18, Ibn Majah, Clip. 2.
Muslim, Chp. 32, Ahmad, v.2, p. 277 and v.3, p. 491
Therefore, just as it is prohibited to transfer the property of one person to another without sufficient evidence, it is forbidden to suspect people and accuse them of evil doings before proving them guilty with undoubted evidence. The Prince of the Faithful (A.S.) said:
"It is not right to judge the trustworthy only on speculation."
Nahj al-Balaghah p. 174
He then clarified the disadvantages and painful points of suspicion when he said:
"Be careful of suspicion, for suspicion ruins worship and makes sins greater."
Ghurar al- Hikam p. 154
He even describes suspecting the kind as being oppressive.
"Suspecting the kind (doer of good) is the worst sin and the ugliest type of oppression."
Ghurar aI-Hikam p. 434
He also says that suspecting the ones you love causes relations to worsen and finally to be cut off. Imam Ali (A.S.) states:
"He who is overwhelmed with suspicion does not leave any peace between him and his beloved one."
(Ghurar al-Hikam p. 698
Suspicion has adverse effects on the spirits and conduct of others as well as the suspicious individuals. Sometimes suspicion diverts the suspected persons from the straight path and leads into corruption and lowliness. Imam Ali (A.S.) said:
"Suspicion corrupts affairs and instigates evilness.'
(Ghurar al-Hikam.)Pg. 433
Dr. Mardin writes:
"Some business owners suspect their employees of stealing which, in turn, forces the suspects to become what they are suspected of. Although suspicion does not appear in words or actions, it influences the spirit of the suspect and leads him to perform that which he is suspected of."
Pirozi Fikr
Imam Ali (A.S.) also stated regarding suspicion:
"Avoid suspicion when not appropriate, for this calls the healthy to sickness, and the innocent to doubt."
Ghurar al-Hikam p. 152
He also declared that those who suffer from suspicion are deprived of healthy bodies and spirits,
"A suspicious person can never be found healthy."
Ghurar al-Hikam p. 835
Dr. Carl wrote about this subject:
"Some habits, such as complaining and suspecting people, reduce the individual's ability to live. These negative behavioral habits adversely influence the sympathetic order and the body's glands. They can also cause practical damage to the body.
Rah Wa Rasm Zindagi
Dr. Mardin adds:
"Suspicion eradicates health and weakens the behavioral powers. Balanced souls never expect harm, rather they anticipate goodness at all times because they know that goodness is an eternal reality, and that evil is not but the work of the weakness of the powers of goodness, just as darkness is the result of the lack of light. Thus, seek the path of light for it erases darkness from the hearts.''
Pirozi Fikr
Suspicious individuals fear people, as Imam Ali (A.S.) said:
"He who is suspicious fears everyone.
Ghurar al-1-Hikam p.712
Dr. Farmer is quoted as saying:
"Those who fear to speak out their ideas and viewpoints in public, where everyone clearly states their opinions, and Who seeks refuge on side streets and back alleys to avoid meeting their relatives on wide streets or in public gardens, are ruled by fear, suspicion and pessimism."
Raz Khushbakhti
One of the factors which cause suspicion is bad memories which are concealed in man's spirit. Imam Ali (A.S.) said:
"Hearts have evil notions and hearts resent them."
Ghurar al-Hikam p. 29
Dr. Haleem Shakhter said:
"Those who lack self-confidence are overly sensitive, so They suffer from minor inflictions. The memories of such inflictions remain in their minds subconsciously and affect their actions, words, anthoughts. Soon they fall victim to depression and suspicion and do not realize the reason behind their sufferings.
"Painful memories conceal themselves beyond our feelings and do not easily manifest themselves to us. In other words, it is natural for man to avoid painful memories and eradicate them from his mind. This concealed enemy never stops inflicting evil and hatred on our souls, manners, and conduct. We sometimes even hear or encounter words or actions from ourselves or others for which we realize no justifiable explanation. Yet if we carefully examine them we find they have been caused by evil memories."
Rushde shakhsiyyat
People with lowly natures elect themselves to be judges over other's actions, thus the misdeeds of others are reflected onto them. Imam Ali (A.S.) pointed out this fact when he said:
"Evil doers never think good of anyone because they see others with their own nature."
Ghurar al-Hikam p. 80
Dr. Mann is quoted as saying:
"Some people place the blame on others by complaining about their deeds while they, themselves, do the exact same thing; they do this to make up for their own shortcomings and as a type of self-defense. This behavior is described as a method of avoiding anxiety; comparing others with one's self is a resentful action. When this condition intensifies and the individual's self-defense increases, he reaches the category of being mentally ill'.
This defense can he caused by doing something socially unacceptable which in turn creates the sense of wanting to relate it to others."
Usule Rivanshinasi
When the Messenger of Allah (S.A.W.) entered Medina after migrating from Mecca, a man came to him and said: "0 Messenger of Allah, the people of this town are men of goodness, they are kind; you have done the right thing in coming here." The Messenger (S.A.W.) said to the man: "You speak the truth." Another man then came to the Prophet and said: "Messenger of Allah, the people of this town are evil, it would have been better if you did not migrate to them!" The Messenger of Allah then said: "You speak the truth." When the people heard the Prophet's reply to both the men, they questioned him. The Prophet answered them: "Each of them spoke that which was in his mind, therefore both of them are truthful". The Prophet (S.A.W.) meant that each of the men was truthful about himself.
The forbidden type of suspicion is clearly understood as misguided thinking and the inclination of the soul towards ill thinking and insisting of it. More prohibited than this type of suspicion is acting on it. Because the thoughts and notions which pass through the mind without any actual effects on the individual's conduct cannot be considered subject to jurisprudential legislation. These thoughts are involuntary, avoiding them is also involuntary; but it is the individual's option to manifest or not to manifest them in his actions.
The miseries of the pessimists stem from this terrifying disorder. Therefore, it is incumbent on those who can pinpoint the reason which caused them to be overly suspicious to treat their cases and rid themselves of such misfortunes.
4
LYINGThe Position of Manners in Society
The Disadvantages of Lying
Lying is Prohibited by Religion
The Position of Manners in Society
Manners are an essential factor in societies and in the perfection of nations. Manners were born as a part of humanity. No one denies the vital role that manners play in bringing peace, happiness, and felicity, to man's spirit; nor does anyone doubt their useful and decisive influence in strengthening the fundamentals of the integrity of conduct and thinking on both the social and public levels. Can you find anyone who suffers from honesty and truthfulness and searches for happiness in the shadow of treachery and lying? Manners are so important that even the nations that do not believe in religion respect them and feel that it is essential for them to abide by some set of ethics to be able to advance on the winding path of life. Everywhere societies are found and under all conditions manners share some similarities.
The famous British scholar Samuel Smiles says:
"Manners are one of the powers that move this world. In their best senses manners are a manifestation of human nature at its highest peak, for manners are a presentation of human nature at humanity. Individuals who excel in any field of life endeavor to attract the people's attention to them with every means of honor and respect. People trust these individuals and imitate their perfection, because people believe that they possess all the gifts of this life, and that if it had not been for the existence of such individuals, life would not be worth living. If inherited genetic features attract the attention and appreciation of people, then manners necessitate gratification and respect of all well-behaved people. This is so because the first set of characteristics is the work of genes and the second set, the fruit of pragmatism and the power of thought's and it is the mind that rules us and manages our affairs throughout our lives.
~~Those who have reached the peaks of excellence and greatness are like bright lights clearing the way for humanity and guiding people toward the paths of morality and piety. If the members of a society anywhere lack good behavior, they will be unable to reach excellence regardless of how much freedom and political rights they enjoy. It is not essential for nations to possess vast areas of land to live honorably; for there are many nations with large populations who own vast areas of land yet lack all the necessities of perfection and greatness. Thus, if the morality of a nation becomes corrupt, that nation will eventually vanish."
All agree with what this scholar has said; yet. there is a great difference between knowing the facts and acting on them that matters here. There are many people who substitute their animalistic inclinations in the place of good conduct. They substitute excellent morals for lusts which appear in life like bubbles appear sparkling on the water's surface.
Man has undoubtedly come out of the factory of life bringing with him completely contradicting instincts. Now man is constantly the subject of a fierce struggle between the traits of evil and goodness: the first step to eradicate man's evil traits is to capture his lusts and anger in this battlefield for they are the cause of his animalistic power, envy. It is incumbent on anyone who wishes to achieve perfection to avoid extravagance on either side and to rid himself of his harmful inclinations that stem from such traits and change them into useful and beautiful feelings. The reason for this is that man benefits greatly from his feelings, but such feelings can only appear good if they are obedient to the commands of reason. According to one psychologist:
"Human feelings are like a container that is divided into two sections. The first section being offensive and the other defensive., If man can direct his defensive feelings to become victorious over the offensive ones, then he will gain control of his existence and lead it as he desires not as they desire."
