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SEARCH FOR TRUTH
By: S. Ghaffan
Published by: World Orginization for Islamic
Services
THE TRUTH FOUND
I was born of staunch Catholic Christian parents.
My father was a preacher who knew the Bible almost by heart my
mother, an orthodox Catholic, would only give us the morning coffee
after her return from Church.
Even from my youngest days, I was made to memorize
certain verses from the Bible.
By the time I had completed the study of all the
four Gospels and knew many important verses,
in those four books, by heart.
My father sometimes took me along with him when he
went to preach, and from the special attention he paid to my knowing
eertain controversial points, and his teaching me the methods of
explaining to the others those intricacies, it was quite obvious that
he wanted me to succeed him in his profession. The strong desire of
the paternal love to make me a priest was implemented by educating me
with a detailed knowledge of the Bible and the science of ministering
it to others. By the time I reached the Form IV in school I could
preach the gospels in my own way, supervised by my father. Many
senior missionaries admired my knowledge of the important doctrines
of the faith. I passed the Form VI and joined College. There I came
in contact with several classmates who were Protestants,
and
some of whom were well versed in the study of the
Protestant Bible.
I often met my Protestant classmates and discussed
matters regarding differences in our faith and the performance of
rituals. There were also some Muslim students, but I met them only in
the play ground as I hated meeting Muslims whom I took to be
dangerous fanatics. By the time I completed the first year in
College, I was sufficiently grounded in the knowledge of the
Christian faith as held by the Catllolic Chulch and had also
considerable knowledge of the Protestant view point. Appreciating
this knowledge of the Catholic faith in my young age I was given a
scholarship from the church funds and in return for the help I
received, I was required to receive special coaching in the guidance
of deeper thoughts about certain parts of the Holy Book, under of the
Chief Priest of the Church who loved to teach me -ery much and
was very intimately attached to me. He used the special devotional
methods of worshiping Jesus and his Holy Mother. Having appeared in
the first group for my intermediate course I used to sit working at
his subjects till late at night.
One night when all were asleep and I was absorbed
in my studies an idea suddenly struck my mind to examine the doctrine
of the Holy Trinity, the Basic formula of the Christian faith. The
question, how three different things can be one and the same, arose
in my mind ie. how anything singularly absolute in its unity with its
indivisible oneness, can ever by itself become divided into three
separate beings with three variant native attributes opposed to each
other justifying the distribution into the three different
entities.
My failure to reconcile my belief in the Trinity
with the reasoning of the science of logic, created a mental
restlessness in me. Days passed on and many a time I thought of
asking my father to help me in solving the problem which was puzzling
my mind. But I knew that my father would never appreciate the least
doubt in the dogmatic belief of the Catholic School and my venture to
discuss anything hated by the Catholic faith, would only create
further problems in my domestic life. However, one day when I found
my father in a happy mood, I asked him as to how he would defend the
Christian faith in the Holy Trinity against the attacks from the
members of the other religions of the world. The answer
was:-
"In matters of faith one has to stop reasoning.
One should belief in the doctrine only by one's heart and
mind."
This reply from my father upset me further more
and disappointed me to a very great extent and all my thinking got
centered in the question which had become a definite problem to
puzzle my mind further and I wondered saying:-
"What ! is this the Foundaiton upon which is
built the huge edifice of the Christian faith? Is the basis of my own
faith only a matter of a blind following of some dictated belief
which can never stand reasoning or the independent scrutiny by the
dispassionate and impartial argumcnts f rom the clean conscience
?"
I became much worried and made up my mind to find
some arguments to somehow make my
much disturbed mind at least imagine that one
could at one and the same time be three different persons, and the
three different persons could at the same time remain one.
One day our Mathematics Professor was sitting
alone in his room and I got in with his permission and asked him if
he would help me to solve something which to me was an intricate and
a perplexing problem. He very kindly asked me what it was. I told him
to explain to me in what sense one and the same person could be three
different beings, and the same three different bings with their
individual differences could at the same time be the indivisible
absolute one?
The Professor smiled and said:-
"Is it that you do not like my stay in this
college ?''
I asked him: "Why Sir?"
He said:-
"What do you think the college authorities
which are staunch Catholics will do with me, if some one informs them
that I discuss in my private room things opposed to the Catholic or
the Christian faith in general? Will they keep me on the staff of the
College any longer? If you want to discuss anything here, you may do
so but mind you, you must confine your discussion to the subject of
your studies in the College, otherwise you will be doing the worst
harm to me for I will be thrown out of my job."
I felt the truth in his statement and made an
appointment with him to see him the next Sunday at 3.00 pm in his
house
On Sunday when I met the Professor he first asked
me as to what made me enquire into the Doctrine of Trinity. I said
that I wanted to know how far the doctrine stood to
reasoning?
The Professor smiled and said, "Why don't you ask
any one of our priests?"
I said "I have asked them but they say it is a
matter of belief or faith and it should not be subjected to any logic
or philosophy. This has upset me I his has raised the question in
me, if what I believe in, is unreasonable and illogical, why should I
subject my self to any blind following? Is God so unjust and cruel to
expect man to believe in a doctrine about Himself, which no human
brain can ever reasonably concieve? I request you, Sir, to some how
give me some method of arguing out the possibility of such an
existence as thc doctrine of Trinity wants us to believe in
!"
The professor smiled and said: "My dear Joseph
suppose you want me to prove by some mathematical formula how water
can remain water and at the same time be fire, or how a stone can be
a stone at the same time be water too, how can I do it? I do not
think any sensible man on earth can ever conceive such a possibility.
How the Everliving God who being the Everliving Life itself, can also
at the same time be a mortal ie. be a man to suffer death at the
hands of the other mortals ? And how the same mortal being at the
same time could be the Absolute Immortal God? It is a problem which
our priests want us to believe and we have to merely believe in it
and none has any choice of even questioning the practicability of
this inconceivable dogma."
On hearing the answer I asked him: "Then, what
about you, Sir ? Don't you also believe in it?"
He replied: "It is a matter of my own personal and
individual choice and decision. Even if I or the world, were to
believe in such a doctrine the liability still remains for every
believer to answer the question if he or she can prove the doctrine
as a reasonable or practical phenomena"
He went on saying; "The fact is when God, Whom we
believe as One, is Absolutely One Being in His perfect unity, it
means that God is singularly one in natural essence of His existence,
free from any different or variant factors having anything to do with
His pure or Absolute Unity to justify His being The Absolute One,
owing an indivisible existence, by Himself. Division suggests that
the one is not an Absolute One, but a compound of some variants
and that which is a composed being can never be really one in the
true meaning of oneness. And certainly the one dependent in its
existence upon its different components can never be independent in
its action, whereas God is the Absolute One, Independently Omnipotent
in His Will and His Action.
"Besides how can any three which are three
separate beings, with three variations justify their being three
separate entities, remain there separately as they are and at the
same time by themselves lose their different individual native
properties differentiating them from each other, and become
conceivably the absolute indivisible one, without the least variation
in the essential oneness.
"An Absolute one must be totally independent in
its exiseence, Mr. Joseph, as it impossible to reason out the
doctrine of the Holy Trinity. The science of Mathematics or any other
science which any human genius can ever conceive, until the end of
time, can never solve this inconceivable riddle."
He continued:-
"The only thing is that we, Christians, are
shut out of the vast sources of knowledge about the truth and of the
higher factors in matters of religion which are available outside
our own fold, by damning every non-Christian as the devil's work. We
Christians, Mr. Joseph, in our madness to swell up our ranks have
played such a disgraceful role that a great head like Sir
Dennison Ross had to helplessly disclose the truth about this in his
foreword to the translation of the Quran by George Sale."
I was amazed to hear the arguments of the
Professor who was himself known as a Catholic, and at the same time I
was very much encouraged to know that my doubt about the
unreasonability of the doctrine of Trinity was something which
had made a highly educated and enlightened mind like the Professor of
Mathematics also to enquire into it. I was much benefitted by the
discussion with the Professor as I came to know arguments justifying
the doubt created in my mind
