Islamic Morals [Electronic resources] نسخه متنی

Lesson: 56 Man's Duty with Regard to His Parents

One of the
humane Islamic behaviour which must be taken care of disregarding is a great
sin is man's behaviour with the below-mentioned persons. They possess, besides
the moral, their rights too:

1. Man's behaviour
with his father and mother.

2. Attitude of father and mother towards their children.

3. Conduct with the community, kinsmen and relatives.

4. Dealings with family members.

5. Living with neighbours.

6. Governments behaviour with people and people's behaviour with the government.

7. Man's attitude toward all others.

After God
worship, respect for Parents

Though the
demands of humanity and truthfulness alone are enough for giving respect to
father and mother, as Islam does not remain silent even in the matters which
are in total agreement with heart and mind, rather it makes it emphatically
incumbent to follow relevant rules in that respect. Islam has put so much emphasis
on the rights of parents that such emphasis is seldom seen in any other matters.
Mostly it is seen in Holy Quran that after ordering worship of none but only
one god, the command to respect parents immediately follows.

Verses

1. And when We made a covenant with the children of Israel: You shall not serve
any but Allah and you shall do good to your parents, and to the near of kin
and to the orphans and the needy, and you shall speak to men good words.

2. And serve Allah and do not associate any thing with Him and be good to the
parents and to the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the neighbour
of your kin and the alien neighbour, and the companion in a journey and the
wayfarer and those whom your right hands possess; surely Allah does not love
him who is proud, boastful.

3. And your Lord has commanded that you shall not serve any but Him, and goodness
to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, say not to
them so much as Ugh nor chide them, and speak to them a generous word. And make
yourself submissively gentle to them with compassion, and say: O my Lord! have
compassion on them, as they brought me up when I was little.

Extremely
extraordinary points about parents

A. After commanding:
worship is exclusively for the Almighty Allah and hence none else should be
worshipped immediately thereafter through the refers to parents and says: behave
nicely with father and mother. This shows the importance of this issue.

B. The problem of their old age has been specifically mentioned, as it is possible
that they may not be able even to move without the help of others and fulfil
their needs themselves. In such event, definitely it is compulsory to give extra
attention to them.

C. The divine commandment asserts that you have no right to say even ugh to
your parents. It means you should never show disgust in their presence.

D. Thereafter the Holy Quran orders: talk respectfully with them.

E. God also orders to remain lowly and meek before them. That lowliness must
express love and affection.

F. Finally Allah says: when you turn your face to Allah in worship or prayer
or supplication do not forget your parents be they alive or dead and seek Allah's
Mercy for them.

Thought
provoking point

The fact that
the mention of being thankful to parents has been made along with that to the
Lord for His bounties shows how great and vast are the rights of parents.

Traditions

Imam Sadiq
(a.s.) said: One who looks angrily toward his parents makes God so angry that
God does not accept his prayers.. and this is so even if the two parents might
have done in justice to him

Imam Baqir
(a.s.) has quoted the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) saying: Refrain from harassing
parents because the fragrance of paradise which can be smelled from a distance
of a thousand year journey does not reach a person who has displeased his parents,
who has committed adultery in old age, and the one who drags his clothes on
ground as a sign of ego as greatness belongs to only one God.

Imam Sadiq
(a.s.) said: Had there been anything lighter by uttering ugh to parents God
might have prohibited even its utterance as we have explained it is the Safest
way of expressing disgust and it is the least indication of disrespect and opposition
the ones parents. One of the ugly things making man aaq displeased by parents
is to look harshly or angrily toward them.

It is recorded
from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.) that he said: To look with love and affection
at parents is an act of Ibaadat.

Question: Do
the above mentioned verses and traditions also apply when what the parents what
is against Shariat?

Answer: The
reply is in the negative. First of all we should know that no order has any
value against the command of God. Amirul Momineen (a.s.) has said: No order
should be obeyed which makes one disobey God.

Secondly, verse
No: 15 of Surah Luqman says: And if they contend with you that you should associate
with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them, and keep company with
them in this world kindly.

Thirdly, the
Holy Quran also commands: O you who believe! do not take your fathers and
your brothers for guardians if they love unbelief more than belief; and whoever
of you takes them for a guardian, these it is that are the unjust. Say: If your
fathers and your sons and your brethren and your mates and your kinsfolk and
property which you have acquired, and the slackness of trade which you fear
and dwellings which you like, are dearer to you than Allah and His Apostle and
striving in His way, then wait till Allah brings about His command: and Allah
does not guide the transgressing people.

Similarly when
there is a tussle between the pleasure of God and other things, everything should
be sacrificed for God.

Question: Is the status of father higher or that of mother?

Answer: traditions show that the status of mother is higher. Mali bin Khanees
says: Imam Sadiq (a.s.) has said: a man asked the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.). It
is recorded from Imam Sadiq 9(a.s.)0 that a man approached the Holy Prophet
(s.a.w.s.) and said: Behaarul Anwaar. In these two traditions the command to
do good to the mother has been given thrice and hence it is the proof that the
respect for mother is higher.

Question: Is
the respect demanded only during the life time of parents or it is desired even
after their demise?

Answer: It
includes the time after their death also. Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said: What prevents
you from behaving nicely to parents during their lifetime or after their death?

It is also
recorded from the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.s.): Verily a man keeps serving his parents
continuously during their entire lifetime, then they die and he does not repay
their debts and doesn't and pray for their forgiveness then in these circumstance
he is noted as Aaq disliked by parents. And sometimes it also happens that the
son does not do good to be parents during their life span but when they expire
he pays up their debt and prays to God for their forgiveness, God considers
him as a pious person .

Conclusively
we must mention that we must know that behaving nicely or adversely with parents
has a takweeni (universal effect) which applies to man during this worlds life.
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) has said: Behave nicely with your parents so that your children
may also be good to you.

Quranic verses
and traditions explicitly to the truth of our stand. Some of them have also
been mentioned in our another book Maad.